Mistletoe
by viper209n
Summary: AU. Sophie doesn't know the origin of her nickname.
1. Prologue

**A/N** : This was sparked by the prompt, _mistletoe_, at The OC Advent Word Challenge on LiveJournal. However, it will be more than a drabble.

Sophie Rose Cohen is often asked about her nickname, Mistletoe. Truthfully, she doesn't even know how the name came to be.

She isn't green.

Or poisonous.

People don't hang her from doorways and kiss passersby when underneath her.

Her birthday isn't even in December.

All she knows at six years old is that her daddy gave it to her.

Whenever she asks about it, she gets a pat on the head and an 'I'll tell you when you're older'.

The first gift Sandy gave his daughter was life (with some help from Kirsten, of course.)

The last was her nickname.

----

Answers coming later. I swear.


	2. Names

"Oh. How about Mistletoe?"

Kirsten turned her book of baby names down and glared over the top at her husband, who was lying between her legs, face to face with her rounded belly.

"Sandy, we are not naming our daughter Mistletoe."

"C'mon." He chuckled as he drew lazy circles on her stomach with his fingertips. "It's unique." Kirsten merely rolled her eyes, picking her book back up. "Plus, she may owe her existence to a sprig of mistletoe."

Kirsten snorted in laughter. "So you're sure it was Chrismukkah now?"

"I think so. If you'll remember," he waggled his eyebrows. "As if you could forget. I pulled out all the moves that night."

Kirsten smiled to herself. _I definitely remember._

Her husband had an obsession with determining the conception date of their children. He claimed it helped him know what to do and what not to do in the bedroom. After all, they weren't the Duggars; they didn't need 18 children.

Much to Seth's chagrin, Sandy enjoyed mentioning the best birthday gift he'd ever received. (Seth's birthday happened to be nine months after Sandy's.)

Kirsten shook her head at Sandy, unable to stop from smiling. He'd begun to whisper to their daughter and she'd started to kick in return.

"I just had a thought," Sandy suddenly chuckled.

"Uh-oh," Kirsten murmured, teasing him.

"What if we conceived a child every time we had sex…"

"Jesus," Kirsten choked.

"AND named them accordingly?"

Kirsten snorted. "Number one, we'd have _way_ too many children!"

"And like twenty three 'Anniversary's, eighty 'Birthday's," Sandy listed. "Several thousand 'Strawberry's."

"Nobody wants the name 'Hood of the car' but someone would have it." Kirsten giggled, brushing a hand through Sandy's hair.

"A lucky somebody would be 'Grampa's Office'", Sandy teased and Kirsten flushed crimson. He pushed himself up and leaned forward to leave a kiss on her nose. He flopped down beside her and snuggled up to her right side. His hand found her stomach again and caressed it gently.

"Mistletoe," he whispered into Kirsten's ear. She chuckled as her hand found his.

"Mistletoe," she agreed.

---

4 Weeks. 30 Days. 720 Hours. 43,200 Minutes.

--

1 Month later, Sandy Cohen was dead. Hit on his way home by a drunk driver.

1 Month after the accident, Sophie Cohen was born. Healthy and beautiful in Berkeley, California.


	3. Meaning

**A/N** : Julie does not have Frank Atwood's child in this AU.

This was written quite early in the morning so please forgive my mistakes.

---

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart That's still beating_

_Broken_ by Lifehouse

---

Kirsten Cohen wasn't ready for that phone call on Saturday night. Nothing could have prepared her for it.

When the police officer told her Sandy was dead, she wasted no time doubting him.

She didn't say 'No, it can't be true.

He just left here.

I just kissed him goodbye.

He was just going to the store.'

It was like her heart knew the whole time and was just waiting for her brain to learn the news. As the words began to press themselves into her mind and images of Sandy fluttered in her vision, her heart began the painful separation. Its beating slowed until Kirsten thought it might just stop completely, not that she could find a piece of logic to make herself oppose it.

Her daughter, who had been restlessly turning and kicking with, what Sandy had written off earlier as 'cabin fever', stopped all motion as well. Kirsten put a hand over her belly, holding onto one of three pieces of Sandy she still had.

She doesn't remember Julie bustling into the kitchen, just home from an evening at the gym. She rattled on for about two minutes while making herself a protein drink before she realized Kirsten was in a trance and wasn't listening to her. She stood in front of her best friend then waved a hand in front of her face.

When Kirsten still stood transfixed, Julie's stomach knotted and her heart raced. Something was wrong. She heard a muffled voice coming from the phone pressed to Kirsten's ear. When she pulled the receiver from Kirsten's hand, Julie had no idea how much her own life was about to change, how much responsibility she would now have to Kirsten and her entire family.

As she heard the news, Julie's eyes welled with tears as Kirsten's remained dry. She called Ryan and Seth downstairs. She gently gave them the news, excused herself to the living room, and let them be with their mother.

Seth was first to approach Kirsten. She still hadn't truly broken out of her silent shock but she accepted his hug and even reciprocated, burying her face in his shirt. She pulled away from Seth and walked toward Ryan, knowing that even after four years with them, he wasn't going to initiate. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, grabbing his hair and pulling him toward her in a hug. He engulfed her quickly in his arms, holding onto her tight, mindful of her daughter, Sandy's daughter.

Her boys left to identify the body at the hospital. Julie watched as Kirsten ascended the stairs toward her bedroom.

Kirsten closed the door and crawled onto the bed. She laid on top of the covers, still in full wardrobe including her shoes. She pulled her legs up toward her belly though they couldn't go far. She continued to stare at a bedpost until her eyes drooped close and sleep overtook her.

She slept, though not soundly. She was in a limbo, technically asleep but still able to hear her surroundings.

She heard Seth and Ryan return. She heard them open her door quietly to check on her. She felt Ryan cover her with a blanket, not daring to wake her and move her to a comfortable position. She heard Seth bring her a glass of water. She heard them both sniffling.

She heard the rummaging through glassware and glass bottles. She felt the longing to join them. She heard them finally go to their rooms to try to go to sleep.

Hours after no one had moved, Kirsten awoke. In the dim lit room, she observed her surroundings. She was cold and alone. She looked around the bed, noticing that she was clearly the only one who had occupied it all night. Sandy hadn't come home. He would never come home. They would never share a bed again. For the rest of her life, she would wake up without him.

With this harsh truth, the separation of her heart was complete. It sat in her chest as two pieces with ragged edges and tattered strands that had once fit together perfectly.

Finally, Kirsten began to cry. She cried for herself, a widow, a soul without its match, a heart without its other half, a hand without one to hold. She'd have to grow old without him, raise the children without him.

She cried for her boys. Fatherless and as a result, practically motherless. Who knew what she'd be worth without their father? She cried for all the advice they were going to miss. She mourned all the lame joking and witty banter between them.

She cried for Seth, who'd never known such pain.

She cried for Ryan, who'd never known a father before Sandy.

She cried for her unborn daughter, who would never meet her daddy. She'd never meet the other half of the chemistry experiment that created her. She'd never meet the man who loved her with all his heart before he'd even met her. She would miss the voice who sang 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' to calm her down at 2 a.m.

Knowing how much pain Kirsten had to be feeling, Julie found it difficult to even consider going to sleep. She decided to crack open Kirsten's door and check on her. When she found Kirsten sobbing on her bed, Julie wasted no time entering and sitting down beside her. She stroked the blonde hair delicately.

"How am I supposed to do this?" Kirsten sobbed. "How do I raise his children without him?"

Julie said nothing, knowing Kirsten didn't want an answer.

"Why did this happen? Why would we be given a child, a daughter, if he was going to die before he'd even meet her?" She gasped and sniffled.

Julie stayed quiet, letting Kirsten mourn in her own way. However, Julie knew the answer to her question, which months later, she would share with Kirsten. Sophie was more than just a blessing for Sandy and Kirsten. She was a savior for Kirsten. The daughter kept her mother going. Not that Kirsten didn't love her sons but the powers that be knew that Kirsten's survival without Sandy would require someone who completely and totally needed her 100% of the time. In short, Sophie was what kept her alive.


	4. Surprises

**Disclaimer** : Josh Schwartz owns everything except for Jess and Dave, those are Ansy Pansy aka Panz's.

**A/N** : This chapter is a different style of writing than I prefer. But when I was writing this chapter, Seth seemed to take over and wanted things told this way. So I hope everyone enjoys it.

1.

He's gone. You can't believe it. But he is.

No more stupid jokes. No more good ones.

No more unnecessary displays of affection with your mother.

It's not fair. This isn't supposed to happen. Not now. Not when you're leaving for college with Summer and your mother is about to have a little girl.

But as unfair as this is for you, you actually feel worse for Ryan and your baby sister.

Ryan, who has only known a father for four years.

Sophie, who will never know her father.

Never receive his great advice. Never be embarrassed in a way only Sandy Cohen is capable of.

Right now, you have managed to steal away a minute to yourself. With everyone packed into Julie's house on account of the earthquake, a personal moment is hard to come by.

Ryan is off brooding. (At least, you hope that's all he's doing.)

Summer finally left you to yourself. You love how supportive she's been but you really need some time alone.

From the experiences of her mother's abandonment and losing Marissa, she understands the need you have. That makes you love her even more.

Julie and Kaitlin are out. You don't know where but it's not important to you as long as they're gone.

Your mom's asleep in bed, clutching some of your father's clothes. Today she had to pick out the last outfit he would ever wear. Tired from crying, she had passed out on her bed soon after finishing her one task for the day. The deep blue button down shirt is now wrinkling in her grip but you can't bear to take it from her.

You sit down on the edge of her bed and watch her sleep for a few moments. It is easy to see that she's dreaming. Her face scrunches, making her eyebrows crinkle. A thread of hair falls into her face so you reach down and tuck it behind her ear. Within a few minutes, her expression smoothes and her mouth twitches into a small smile.

Your focus drifts to her extended stomach, causing your eyes to fill with tears again. You close your lids and lean back against the headboard. You try desperately to get your mind to stop rushing with so many thoughts, pleading for one second of peace.

Her light snore breaks through your thoughts and you smile at her without opening your eyes. But then, memories of your father teasing her flood your brain. A few tears leak from under your eyelids. You sniffle while praying you don't wake her; she keeps snoring. You focus on the steady noise and within a few moments you're falling in and out of a dreamless sleep.

Your phone rings in another room and wakes you up. Your mom doesn't move, her face still peaceful. Silently, you leave the room.

Your phone reads 'The Nana'. You sigh. Your break is over, back to work.

2.

She's at the funeral home when she finally falls apart.

You're listening intently to plot options when you hear her hoarse but firm 'no'. As she repeats it, the word gets louder and stronger until she's hyperventilating.

You hold her arm and lower her into a chair. She grips your arm so hard you know she's leaving marks but right now you could not care less. You try to calm her down, encouraging her to breathe.

"Seth," she whispers urgently, her eyes focused and fearful. "He can't be buried here." You urge her to continue, asking what she means. "In Newport . I can't bury him here. God, he hated it here."

"Mom," you start.

"Berkeley . He needs to be in Berkeley." She has a hand on her extended belly and you know you're going to find a way to get her exactly what she wants. Your father will be laid to rest in Berkeley. You thank the funeral director for his time and leave quickly with your phone pressed to your ear before you even get out the door.

3.

It is a constant group effort to keep the damn Newpsies away from your mom. All their stupid questions finally get to you.

"You aren't burying him here? Why?"

"She doesn't want to," you answer simply.

"Well, you can't give a grieving widow every ridiculous thing she asks for."

"Yeah, she asked for us to get rid of you people but we can't seem to manage that."

"Now, Seth, I know you're upset, but…"

Your blood is boiling as you interrupt. "Don't act like you know what I'm going through. Just leave." You're met with blank stares. "Get out! Leave us alone."

You slam the door.

4.

You start to worry about Ryan. It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Everyone knows the boy doesn't take bad news well, especially when it concerns death. And now, with you stepping up to be the responsible one (a move no one expected), it's left Ryan to finally be selfish. He doesn't leave his room if he doesn't have to; barely even responds to Kirsten. Everyone knows he's hurting. Sandy was the dad that he had waited for his whole life. There aren't words anyone can say to make him feel better, you've accepted that.

And now he doesn't even have Taylor to distract him. You can't decide if that's a good thing or not.

He and Taylor had broken up a month and a half before … the accident. She had gone to France and he was getting ready to move to Berkeley. They were truly moving on. Of course, in most people's opinions, that was no reason not to call her and tell her what had happened.

Poor Taylor had heard the news from Summer in a text message. Summer assumed Ryan had told her and had responded to a simple 'What's up?' with 'On Kirsten duty while Seth and Julie figure out all these arrangements.'

Ryan had then tried to convince her to stay in France, continue to give him space, and let him figure this out on his own. But Taylor wanted to 'be there for Kiks and Seth' as she had put it. Ryan was skeptical about her motives which made him even more broody. Which makes you worry even more.

5

You go alone to pick up the Nana and your aunt and uncle from the airport, unsure how the women will act toward your mom.

"Setheleh," the Nana says. You had no idea she was capable of speaking so softly.

She's never been much of a hugger but it's her who pulls you into a tight hug.

6

After they settle their stuff into their rooms of the hotel, you lead them to your mother's room. Your stomach is still twisted into a tight knot.

You are amazed as you watch the Nana take one look at your mother before pulling her tightly into a hug. You can't make the words out but you hear the Nana whispering. Whatever she's saying must not be bad because your mother isn't resisting.

You are amazed but not relieved. There is still the case of your aunt, Jess, who has never been a fan of your mother's. She and Uncle Dave have no choice but to join you in awkwardly watching the exchange between two previous mortal enemies. Clearly, they had not anticipated this either.

When the Nana finally releases your mother (both women wiping their eyes), Jess moves closer and actually extends an arm out to Kirsten, which is more than you expected.

Your mom smiles when she sees Dave which surprises you given how closely he resembles his brother. He approaches her slowly and it is clear that his mind is on the same wavelength as yours. As soon as he wraps his arms around Kirsten, she crumbles, crying into his shirt.

For the remainder of their stay, Jess won't offer anything toward your mother other than a few glares that Kirsten never notices and you try to ignore. However, the Nana turns into a constant source of help and you are unsure what her motives are. Whatever the reason, you know your dad would be pleased.

You feel bad for Dave who wants so badly to help anyway he can but is most often shooed away by his mother for making Kirsten cry. You understand the feeling. One moment everything's okay. The next, she's looking at you in a weird way and the next, uncontrollable tears.

7

You wish you weren't here. You can tell Ryan would give his left arm to be anywhere but here. And as for your mother, she'll follow wherever you lead her. But you know she can't be as calm as she looks.

You and Ryan sit down with her in the middle. As the service begins, she grips a hand from each of you and starts squeezing. When you make eye contact with Ryan, his eyes are full of concern that you don't understand at first. Your mother's actions seem perfectly natural for the situation. But then you read Ryan's mind and comprehend why he looks so frightened.

Mom is squeezing hands and trying to control her breathing.

You pray your mother doesn't go into labor at your father's funeral. You know you won't be able to handle the irony.

Much to your relief, she lets go of both yours and Ryan's hand and grabs the tissues she brought.

You put your arm around her shoulder and she grabs Ryan's hand again with her free one.

The service feels like an eternity though you know it's one of the shortest you've ever attended. That is how your mother requested it.

_Short and sweet_, you can hear your dad say.

His college roommate's deep voice boomed through the room.

"There are no words to adequately describe a man like Sandy Cohen. A man with dreams of making the world a better place. A man with the odds against him from the start. A man who defeated all preconceived notions about him with a sarcastic joke and maybe even a song." Paul Glass smiled as he read that last sentence. The room chuckled for a moment before Paul's face returned to its somber state.

"A man taken too soon. He was one of a kind and he will be sorely missed by all who knew him. But he will be missed most of all by his family. The family who loved him and whom he loved more than anything in the world. His precious children and his beloved wife will carry him with them always. Nothing made him happier than making them happy. Seth. Ryan. Baby Sophie." He choked. "And Kirsten. He loved you four more than…" He paused again, trying to gain his composure. "More than words can say. That's a legacy he'd be proud of. He's leaving behind two great men and a woman who will raise that little girl to be a tiny sarcastic ballet dancing version of her father." The crowd chuckled again, even Mom. "Hey, Kirsten's allowed to have her dreams, too. So I'd say his dream of making the world a better place came true.

"Losing Sandy, especially like this, is a tragedy. But it's not the end. He's the kind of person who leaves a lasting impression on everyone he touches. And he'll still be here even if we can't see him. He lives on in his greatest treasure, his children."

Paul walks down to the casket and places a hand on the glossy wood. After a moment, he turns and silently asks if you and Ryan are ready.

The three of you plus Dave and two college buddies of Sandy's are the pall bearers. You know it's not required or customary for such close relatives to carry caskets but both you and Ryan want to do it, to honor your father.

At the graveside, with the way your mother is watching the casket descend, you are afraid she might jump in with Sandy. She's given up trying to manage her sobs. They rack her body, causing the arm you have around her to shake. You've never seen her so distraught before. You've never seen anyone so distraught before. It's as if saying goodbye to your father is as physical for her as it is emotional. Like part of her is literally being buried with him.

8

After the service, you and your family (which apparently includes Julie Cooper now) go to the hotel. You lead your mother to her bed. She follows with no argument and eagerly climbs into bed without even changing out of her black maternity dress. When you're sure she's lost in a world with Sandy , you, Ryan, and Summer leave her in Julie's capable hands. You don't tell anyone where you're going. Ryan and Summer hear the GPS lady repeat the address a couple times but it offers no hint of an answer.

210 Overlook Drive means nothing to their ears.

You follow the turn by turn directions because the last time you were at the address you were wearing a Berkeley onesie.

Finally, you pull up beside the house.

After a moment of silent staring, Summer asks. "Is this where you lived?"

"Yeah." You're breathless. You didn't expect so many memories to come back just by staring at the exterior of a house.

Finally, you tell them why you are really here.

"I want to buy it."

"Seth," Summer starts. "There's not a 'for sale' sign."

"I know." With that, you turn off the car and get out.

9

You've never seen anyone's eyes get as large as these two guys' eyes do. You know your offer is outrageous but this house is worth it.

At least you hope it is. You couldn't approach Mom about the possibility of living in this house again without knowing if it could be done.

Now that it is as good as sold, you worry she might be appalled at the thought of living here without Dad.

10

You continue looking through the familiar house while trying to think of a way to bring this up to Mom.

Trying to get over the disappointment that the 'Seth Cohen Growth Chart' is gone, you see Ryan in the doorway of what used to be your bedroom. You join him, leaning on the opposite door jam. Looking around the familiar room, you can't help but smile.

"Mom painted these walls. She'll love that they're still the same." To anyone who knows you, the walls resemble a section of space like the middle of a galaxy. But to the untrained eye, they just look like an interesting mixture of greens and blues. Mom had wanted to paint the space theme you wanted without making it cheesy and she did it phenomenally.

"Seth, this idea is great and all. But will Kirsten even want to come back?"

"I was just wondering that myself." Your eyes dart to the window and you smile again, wider this time. "Oh, man." You walk over to the seat built into the window. "Dad built this. Ha. You should have seen him." You run your hand over the white wood. "Full handyman belt and everything. Come to think of it. He would have made you proud. Mom fought him so much, telling him just to hire someone to do it. But he refused and put this in himself. God, how do I remember that? I had to be like five. But I remember helping him. Of course, it wasn't really helping, I was five. But still, it felt like…"

You stop short as you hear Ryan poorly hide his tears behind an obvious cough. Without thinking, you pull him into a tight hug. You can feel yourself growing up when the word 'minty' never crosses your mind.


End file.
